What is an Adult Ally?

Think about an adult that was important to you when you were a teenager. A teacher? A youth group counselor? Cool Aunt Emiko? Odds are, you can think of at least one adult who has made a difference in your life. What is it about them that makes them so memorable? Was it the way they talked to you? The way they made you feel? 

At Ophelia’s Place, young people often tell us they feel powerless and say they’re not taken seriously because of their age. That’s why adult allies are crucial in their lives. Maybe you’re familiar with the term “adult ally,” but what does it really mean to fill that role – to be that adult that young people learn from, feel empowered by, and will remember well into adulthood?

Adult Ally Defined 

Ophelia’s Place’s existence grew from the vision of providing a safe place where girls could be surrounded by adult allies. Adults show girls compassion and care, and are interested in what is happening in these girls’ lives. An adult ally is someone who: 

• Actively listens

• Empathetically responds

• Validates emotions

• Demonstrates acceptance and does not pass judgment

• Is trustworthy

• Earns and shows respect and dignity to young people

• Honors young peoples’ autonomy

• Asks how they can help rather than give advice

• Uses their adult power and privilege not against youth, but instead advocates for and empowers young people

• Believes in young people

• Supports, encourages and guides young people to think about what decisions would be best for them

• Holds other adults accountable when adultist things are said/done

Adult Allyship During Social Distancing 

Being away from the young people that we care about during social distancing is hard – really hard. We can’t physically be near them to support or comfort them in the ways that we want, and we need creative ways to show up for them if they have limited access to the technology that is helping us stay connected. Here are some ways to continue your allyship during COVID social distancing: 

• Set up weekly check ins, either in person (while social distancing) or via social media, FaceTime, etc.

• Write them a letter letting them know you’re thinking of them

• Respect their space when they don’t want to be in contact

• Keep lines of communication open and let them know that you’re available to them when they need to talk

• Be honest – don’t make promises you can’t keep

• Listen without judgment

• Validate their feelings and experiences

• Respect their space/privacy

Do you consider yourself an adult ally? Want to brush up on some of the ways to support the youth in your life? Check out these tips about active listening. Or learn how to support LBTQIA youth – one group of youth who require allies in their lives. Interested in learning more? Contact us for adult education opportunities at (541) 284-4333 or info@opheliasplace.net.