Resisting Adultism
How many times have you heard one of these? (Or said one of them?)
“You’re so smart for a 15-year-old.”
“You think this is hard? Wait until you’re older!”
“Would you grow up?”
At Ophelia’s Place, our vision is to ensure that youth feel safe, valued, and empowered. Part of our role in working with young people is recognizing how adultism contributes to the mistreatment and oppression of children and teens, and encouraging adults to better support young people by challenging adultism. Because really, empowered teens do great things.
What is Adultism?
Adultism refers to behaviors and attitudes based on the assumption that adults are better than young people. It also describes the systematic mistreatment of young people, and the systematic advantages given to adults, including laws, policies, social norms, and customs that assume that young people are less capable and less valued. Every adult has experienced adultism and because of this unconscious sharing of the same experiences, adults often perpetuate adultism without knowing it. And, other factors like sexism, racism, poverty, and disability can worsen the mistreatment of marginalized youth, according to John Bell, author of Understanding Adultism: A Key to Developing Positive Youth-Adult Relationships.
Not Everything Adults Do is Adultist
It’s true that young people need guidance, rules, healthy boundaries, role modeling, teaching, protection, and nurturing. Sometimes, adults make decisions that are in the best interest and safety of a young person. It’s also important that adults are aware of how they address young people, the language and statements they use, and that they pay attention to how they interact with young people so youth can develop trusting relationships.
Identifying Adultist Behavior
Adults can lessen the impact adultism has on their relationships with youth by recognizing how they contribute to it. They can challenge their own power and privilege by identifying and resisting adultist behaviors, and being allies to young people.
Common Adultist Statements:
“You’re so smart for eleven!”
“It’s just a stage. You’ll outgrow it.”
“When are you going to grow up?”
“What do you know? You haven’t experienced anything!”
“You think this is hard? Wait until you’re an adult.”
What Are Some Ways to Curb Adultism?
Begin with you. Ask yourself the following questions to identify adultist behaviors:
Would I speak to another adult in this tone of voice?
Would I treat an adult this way?
Would I make this decision for an adult?
What is the assumption behind my behavior or comment to this young person?
How might it change the dynamic or relationship between us?
Strategies for Resisting Adultism
Listen and validate young people by inviting them to share their thoughts, experiences and feelings. Be curious and ask questions – you never know what you’ll learn!
Take a step back and resist the urge to take over. Give young people room to make mistakes and understand that mistakes are part of the learning process.
Change the power in relationships wherever appropriate. Consider refraining from using authority.
Have high expectations of young peoples’ potential, and positively assess their current abilities.
Things Adults Can Do to Assist Young People
Go to their space and their turf (whether it’s a physical or online space)
Build one-on-one relationships
Assist young people as they rely on each other and take themselves and each other seriously
Remember that youth are their own experts – ask for their input!
Help young people develop leadership skills
Promote youth-led programs
Want to Know More? Schedule a Training with Ophelia’s Place.
Ophelia’s Place provides educational opportunities for parents, educators, and youth-serving professionals. Trainings provide adults with strategies to support the youth in their lives and cover topics such as bullying interventions, supporting students experiencing sexual harassment, digital decisions, media and body image, self-care, trauma informed approach, conflict resolution, and internet safety. To schedule an Ophelia’s Place training, call (541) 284-4333.