Navigating Family Conflict

Conflict is a normal part of family life or in any relationship - sometimes small, sometimes significant. In either case, having a safe space to communicate and listen is vital to growth, togetherness, and care.

Here are some tips on how to navigate conflict:

Create a Safe Space

Schedule family check-in. Adding a check-in to your daily family routine can give you and your children a space to express concerns, ask questions, or share feelings you’re all processing. This allows an opportunity for open conversations about any stressors that you’re experiencing.

Be Assertive

Assertive communication is simple, direct, and can be applied in different types of situations and relationships. When practicing assertive communication some things to remember are:

Remain calm: Be focused, direct, and mindful on tone of voice. Remember to take space if you need to and revisit the conversation later
Communicate clearly: Be direct and state the behavior you are noticing and your needs/expectations.
Listen: Allow your children space to state how they feel and their side of the situation.
Validate: Always validate their feelings about the situation even if you don’t understand.
Collaborate: Directly state what you need and collaborate with your children to discover a solution that works for everyone.

Assertive Communication Examples

“When you don’t turn the tv off, it seems like you are choosing not to listen to me. I need you to turn off the tv when I ask or we are going to have to take a break.”
“It seems like we are both getting overwhelmed with this school work. Let’s go take a break outside and revisit it in ten minutes.”
“It is not okay when you yell at your brother. What is another option when you are feeling overwhelmed or annoyed?”

Be Vulnerable

Being vulnerable and honest during these conversations is a great way to be relatable, create a safer place for others to share how they are feeling and talk about any conflicts that have occurred. We are all going through a shared experience. Use the people around you as a support system. Open, honest communication with your loved ones is a great way to take care of yourself and others.

Ask for Help

It is okay to not know the answer. At Ophelia’s Place, we strive to be a resource for parents in our community. If you need extra support/materials related to communication or conflict resolution with the young people in your life, please reach out to us at 541-294-4333 or by email at info@opheliasplace.net.

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