9 Healthy Habits For Talking About Puberty
Ah puberty – a time of change, self-discovery, and exploration. Also a time of feeling vulnerable, confused, and embarrassed for both youth and the adults in their lives.
Here’s the thing. Almost every human experiences puberty. Bodies experience growth spurts, a first menstruation, acne, and hormone changes. Minds and hearts begin to explore dating and relationships, identity, and sexuality. Puberty is a very normal part of growing up.
Despite how many of us experience it, puberty is still uncomfortable to talk about for some. And those feelings are justified and normal. After all, topics like sex and dating constantly show up (and are blown out of proportion in some cases) in movies, songs, streamed shows, and art. Families have varying levels of comfort, experience, or belief systems around discussing topics like sex, relationships, and identity. And facts and ideas about sex, relationships, and health move quickly, whether accurate or not.
Above it all, sharing comprehensive information with teens about puberty supports their long-term health, and encourages healthy choices as they navigate all those new feelings.
Parents and guardians, you’ve got this. According to Sex Positive Families – an organization that provides education and resources that help families raise sexually healthy children using a shame-free, comprehensive, and pleasure-positive approach – the following are 9 habits parents can lean into as they begin and continue having puberty talks with their teens.
Shake the Shame
Keep an open communication door without projecting shame. Lead with facts and leave no subject taboo, to prepare your young person to make informed choices about their body.
Value Your Young Person’s Autonomy
Respect their right to make informed decisions and place the focus on preparing them for independent decision-making, rather than trying to control the outcomes.
Reinforce Consent
Empower your young person to exercise control over their body, set healthy boundaries, and teach them how to seek consent from others.
Model Tolerance & Respect
Reinforce through action an understanding of diversity. Show respect for others regardless of identity, ability, or sexuality.
Listen More Than Speak
Create a safe space for your child to share without fear or judgement. Use open-ended questions and phrases like “tell me more” to encourage discussion. Watch for and respond to your young person’s non-verbal cues.
Focus on Reducing Risks vs. Instilling Fear
Discuss natural consequences of risky behavior. Avoid using fear to influence their decision-making.
Teach Correct Terms for Anatomy
Toss the pet names. Use accurate words like “vulva,” “vagina,” and “penis” early to keep your young person safer and more prepared for sexual health.
Support Exploration of Pleasure
Discuss and normalize masturbation. Pleasure is necessary for every human to experience as part of healthy sexuality.
Use Resources
Build a toolkit of books, videos, websites, visual aids, and professionals to help your young person receive comprehensive sexual health information.
Bonus: Ophelia’s Place often provides groups, activities, and resources to youth and their families that provide safe spaces to discuss puberty, sexuality, and adolescence. Subscribe to receive our emails at the bottom of this page to stay in the loop about upcoming activities.